Kenny’s Will
In the highly likely event of my death, I, Kenny McCormick, wish to leave all my belongings to my good friends, Stan and Kyle. Dudes, you were the friends a guy could have. Eric, I never really liked you. But then, nobody does. You have no ability to feel, and you are going to die alone and miserable. It is only because I feel so sorry for you that I leave you my Sony PSP. There is one more thing I would like to ask you all, as my friends. If I should ever be in a vegetative state and kept alive on life-support, please… for the love of God, don’t ever show me in that condition on national television.