simaraknows:

future!Nygmobblepot headcanons

• Everyone knows they are a couple. It’s a thing. If one of them is arrested the first point of action is figuring out where the other one is.
• Oswald starts wearing the top-hat to look taller – which Edward counteracts by starting to wear heels
• They go out on dinner dates a lot. Other peoples “dinner and a movie” is their “dinner and armed robbery”
• Bickering like an old married couple is standard procedure but the thing that makes people even more uncomfortable is the fact that these arguments will always end with a “because you love me” and extended eye fucking.
• Oswald was a little self-concious when he started to gain weight but Edward made it very clear that he does not mind and intends to shoot everyone who does in the knee
• While bickering, they’ll still play the “you killed me” and ”you killed my girlfriend” card but at this point the details got a little muddy like, “Are you sure she wasn’t called Isabell? Are you sure Edward?”
• Harvey is weirdly happy for them and whenever someone calls him out on it he goes “Someone around here has to have a healthy, stable relationship and since it sure as hell ain’t me or you it might as well be them”
• They wouldn’t admit it if anyone asked but they do visit the pier on their anniversary now and then and make some good memories to override the bad ones. Ed always loved the view, after all.
• Despite what people may think, they are really good for each other. Oswald reminds Edward to take his medication and calms him down when he’s anxious. Edward rubs Oswalds leg when it hurts and keeps his temper in check.
• Jim got an invite for the wedding. As in: Someone put a bag over his head and dragged him to the church where a priest was held at gun point. Oswald welcomed his “old friend” heartily and declared him best man.