Dating is never a smooth process. You can create a list of what to look for in a partner and try to find the perfect person that meets all of those requirements, but that doesnât guarantee making the dating aspect any easier or less awkward. Online dating has become widely used in this day and age to help people find love. But, the success of online dating isnât likely the result of algorithms that calculates who would be a good match for one another based on the self-reports of what people look for in a partner.
So, youâve been together with your romantic partner for a while now, but how do you know whether or not youâre falling in love? In the initial stage of dating, it might be hard to pinpoint what your heart is telling you when you have a surge of mixed intense feelings all at once. Youâre unsure of whether or not itâs merely physical attraction, infatuation, or the real deal. Moreover, youâre wondering what your partner thinks of you and if theyâve given any thought towards developing your relationship even further. How do you fully decipher your emotions? Psych2Go shares with you 10 signs to tell if youâre falling in love:
Ever heard of the phrase, âMen are from Mars and women are from Venus?â Thatâs because the way men and women operate seem as though they are from two different planets! This is no exception to falling in love. While falling in love creates the same intense feelings, how the two sexes fall in love are unique. So, what goes on in a manâs head thatâs different from women?Psych2Go shares with you the 7 stages of how men fall in love:
Believe it or not deep thinkers rationalize their feelings. They donât let themselves feel without analyzing every potential action. And sometimes they donât let themselves even feel something sincere because they donât want to hurt the ones they love. Theyâre idealists at heart and extremely intelligent and highly intuitive people that are difficult to decipher.
Itâs already difficult for introverts to find their niche in a world that predominantly values extroverted tendencies. As a result, introvertsâ needs donât get enough attention and arenât talked about as much. This includes the way that they function in the love department. Are you dating an introvert? Here are 10 things that we need in relationships for you to consider:
Everyone has a âlove language,â a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. This will vary from person to person, but will usually be just one (or two) of the following:
1. Words of Affirmation – If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, âI love you,â are importantâhearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
2. Quality Time – Nothing says, âI love you,â like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being thereâwith the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standbyâmakes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
3. Receiving Gifts – Donât mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.
4. Acts of Service – Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an âActs of Serviceâ person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: âLet me do that for you.â Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings donât matter.
5. Physical Touch – A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or faceâthey can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
âDonât fall in love with the moment and think youâre in love with the girlâ
Whilst being a pretty powerful quote, it also serves as an example of a psychological phenomenon known as Misattribution Of Arousal. In this case, we wrongly interpret our feelings of fear and anxiety as romantic/sexual attraction.It might sound a bit far-fetched at first but when you look into the physiology of both fear and attraction it becomes clearer how the two can be confused.
The word âarousalâ in everyday speak usually has sexual connotations, but in psychology just describes a state of increased blood pressure, sweaty palms, shortness of breath etc. When we experience this state of arousal, we then try to label it. Anxiety? Fear? Love? Itâs this labelling process that causes the problem. When we experience an anxiety-inducing situation with someone else, we may misinterpret the (fear) arousal as attraction to them. One famous example of this is the Shaky Bridge Experiment.
An attractive female was situated at the end of a bridge that was either a shaky suspension brige (which would induce fear) or a sturdy bridge. A male volunteer walked across the bridge to the woman on the other side who gave him survey to fill out. Once he had finished with the survey, the woman ripped out a piece of paper from her clipboard and gave him her number, telling him to call her if he had any further questions. The results found more men from the group that walked across the suspension bridge later called the woman than those who had walked down the sturdy bridge. They had missatributed their feeling of anxiety from crossing the bridge to attraction towards the woman.Â
Sometimes youâre in love with the moment, sometimes you fear the moment but that does not mean youâre in love with the girl.Â
There is an excellent followup anecdote to this – unfortunately I canât find the source so itâll have to go off my flawed memory, so anyways
A male student heard about this phenomenon and decided to give it a try with a female classmate he had feelings for. Maybe if he could get their heart rates up and she was with him, she would think she had feelings for him and agree to go on a date.
He convinced her to go on a city tour where he knew the streetcars were a little wild, almost like a tiny roller coaster. Lots of rolling hills and sudden drops, and by the end of it they were both breathless and laughing. He was sure it had worked, and asked her if she had fun.Â
âI did! And you probably didnât notice, but wow was that tour guide ever cute!â
đ„ There is beauty in destructionđ„ 