beforethelion:

Right, so I was thinking. Remember when Ed found out Oswald was alive? Yeah, in the cages, now remember how he had to second guess himself and check to make sure it was actually Oswald and not another hallucination? Well firstly, that alone is pretty sad because that means deep in his heart Ed knows he never let go of Oswald (which is what he was trying to do at the docks) and he still misses Os enough to actually believe that he could still be hallucinating him without the drugs. But anyway, do you remember how Ed checked to make sure Oswald was real? He smacked Oswald’s head – he touched him. That means Ed knew he couldn’t touch Hallucination Oswald, that means Ed tried to touch hallucination Oswald.
Now we weren’t there for the first times Ed took those pills too see Oswald, but let’s imagine how that could have gone (translation: I hope you packed your lunches because we’re going on a feels trip). The first time Ed saw his best friend after murdering him–firstly, how many days do you think it took him to break down and get those drugs because he absolutely needed to see Oswald again. And upon seeing him again for the first time, what do you think Ed said to him? Just imagine it, Ed breaking down and reaching out to hold Oswald, only to pass right through him. Do you think Oswald was still crying and telling Ed he loved him during that first hallucination? After all, that’s exactly where they left off, the last time Ed saw Oswald so the last version of him on his mind. Speaking of this, let’s talk about Ed’s psychee projection of Oswald’s appearance. Obviously he was imaging Oswald at the bottom of the ocean, where he believed his body would rest forever. But why? Why couldn’t he just imagine Oswald in his normal attire? Because Ed felt guilty. Ed felt so guilty about killing his best friend, he probably couldn’t stop picturing him dead at the bottom of the ocean floor. Now here’s the last thing I’ll leave you to think about; how many times do you think Edward woke up in the middle of the night because he had a nightmare of dead Oswald?