thedeevirus:

Also added to AO3: ‘Shall I Be Mother?’

The title is a reference to an antiquated saying that basically translates to: ‘Shall I pour the tea?’

Enjoy!

**

‘Ed! You came!’

Oswald beamed as he embraced Ed tightly. Ed allowed it, patting Oswald’s back companionably.

‘Hello Oswald’, Ed said, even though the person in front of him seemed a poor imitation of The Penguin he had known.

Whilst his clothes were expensive as always, Oswald was dressed in drab shades and his hair, whilst clean was limp and combed so extensively it seemed plastered to his head. Worst of all was Oswald’s smile: it seemed almost painted on and did not quite reach his eyes despite his apparently genuine tone. It reminded Ed of the kind of smile someone wore after accidentally hitting their funny bone.

‘You’re looking well’, Ed lied as he followed Oswald into the mansion.

‘Better than last time you saw me I bet’, Oswald laughed, gesturing for Ed to follow him up a staircase.

‘Your letter said this place was big’, Ed said with an appreciative whistle.

‘Isn’t it? It would get awfully lonely if I didn’t have my family living here with me’.

Ed recalled Oswald mentioning these ‘family members’ in his letter. He hoped he wasn’t about to be sidelined into a meet and greet with some long lost cousin or something. He had important things to discuss with Oswald. He hid his dismay as they entered a drawing room and Oswald introduced him to an older man with the same delicate features and dark hair.

‘This is my father, Elijah Van Dahl. Father, this is Ed’.

‘Ed Nygma’, Ed said politely, extending a hand.

‘Your reputation precedes you’, Elijah said, his voice soft but his grip firm as they shook hands.

Ed noted the faint chemical smell, the swollen veins on Elijah’s neck and the paper like texture of his hand. As he stirred in his armchair, Ed heard a faint rasp in Elijah’s breath at the slight movement. He wondered if Oswald knew his father was sick.

‘All good I hope?’ Ed half joked.

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