trauma – 🔥 There is beauty in destruction🔥

micchi-monster:

bpdzoldyck:

A note on the topic of trauma that I personally found helpful in accepting the idea that I am a trauma victim is that one of the most widely accepted facts in the field of trauma research is that abuse is often not the common factor in whether somebody will develop ptsd.

Many people can go through awful things without developing trauma based disorders as long as they receive compassion and support in processing those events as they happen. The most common factor in developing something like ptsd is emotional neglect. And emotional neglect on it’s own can be enough.

Whatever you went through was enough I promise, you’re not overreacting. Abuse and neglect are traumatic at any level, you don’t need to have gone through the worst possible experience you can think of to develop ptsd. If it hurt you then it hurt you.

…..oh.

And to support that, the number one determining factor on how badly something affects a person is how they’re treated afterward, not how objectively bad the event was. They’re called resiliency factors.

It looks like this:

Horrible brutal traumatic event + Family and community support + legal amelioration + closure and therapy and help

ONE MILLION TIMES MORE LIKELY TO RECOVER THAN

Event that the sufferer may think “seems minor” compared to what others have been through + Family neglect and abuse (you deserved it, name calling, support the abuser) + no legal means + denial and stifling and no therapeutic support

I have been raped, I have been abused by someone who was supposed to be family to me, and I have recovered and gotten my life back together. I have psychiatrists, psychologists, best friends, lovers, and family who support me. I did not get legal justice, but I got the person(s) out of my life.

My friend was repeatedly verbally abused by his step-parent, and when he was abused and hurt by others he was blamed for it by that parent. He had no support and no one to talk to about it for over 10 years.

He still feels guilty for even being affected by it and I’ve had long talks with him about how it isn’t “nothing compared to” what I went through.

You are not wrong to be upset. You are not wrong to feel the effects of trauma. Your hurt cannot be measured against anyone else’s. Your resiliency is your own and your situation is valid to you. Perception is everything. The worst thing that ever happened to you might ostensibly be less bad than the worst thing that ever happened to me – but it still is what happened to YOU.

paranoidsuggestions:

ptsdsuggestions:

separatepoints:

abusedsuggestion:

Why do I crave abuse now? Why do I want it?

how else could you have survived?

In fact this is a normal reaction for most abuse victims, the brain internalizes a unnatural crave and desire for experiencing it in order to survive, otherwise you could have died from having been unable to process the abuse as it was going on at the time.

Once you are free from it the brain doesn’t understand the new environment and craves the punishment out of fear for instant death in case of disobeyance, to the point where you think you need it, but it’s all survival instincts.

That makes a lot of sense and I wish I had known this before.

Childhood trauma can affect a person so greatly because of its prescence in the time of developmemt. Events that would normally change a person become embedded in every fiber of one’s identity. It is this time of life which is so crucial to your entire future. This is the unique nature of C-PTSD, which doesn’t merely change a person, it creates them. It builds every trait, interest, and understanding of the world with this toxin. Nothing is unaffected or unaltered because all there is to alter was created by the trauma. Moving forward is not moving back to before the trauma, it is in every essence a rebirth and reeducation of life itself. To move on we can not erase, because to erase trauma’s effect we in theory erase ourselves.

Understanding Childhood C-PTSD (via karenopico)

Trauma shatters your most basic assumptions about yourself and your world – “Life is good,” “I’m safe,” “People are kind,” “I can trust others,” “The future is likely to be good” – and replaces them with feelings like “The world is dangerous,” “I can’t win,”“I can’t trust other people …”

Mark Goulston (via onlinecounsellingcollege)