This is a ficlet based on this post I made some time back for a possible fanfiction idea.
The room was silent aside from the womanās labored breathing. No one was there to see her; to hold her hand in those final hours as her life slowly slipped from her grasp. The realization brought tears to her dull, blue eyes as she brought her arthritic hands together to pray, but she she didnāt pray for a miracle. As the tears traveled through the deep wrinkles of her face, she only prayed her death would come soon to release her of the pain that was both physical and emotional. She was tired, and she was ready for it all to end. Perhaps, she could even see one of her loved ones on the other side.
She must have dozed without realizing it because she suddenly realized that there were two figures now standing in the room although she hadnāt seen her door open. They were too far away at first to make out any features, but soon one of the them stepped forward. She smiled brightly when she recognized his familiar face and reached towards him. While there was something different about him, especially about the eyes, she would have known her young nephew anywhere.
āRonnie,ā she whispered in a voice that sounded like little more than a tired creak, āMy dear boy, youāve come to see me.ā
Ronald said nothing as he looked down at her coolly. He turned and said something to his companion, but she couldnāt understand his words. As she pondered about this, a sudden realization bloomed in her mind like a red rose in a barren desert.
āI remember now,ā she added, āYou died. They said it was by your own hand, but I knew that it couldnāt be true. I knew it had to be an accident, and now I know that I was right. It had to be an accident because youāre an angel now. Youāve come to take me to Heaven.ā Again, she reached for him; her hands shaking but eager.
Without a word towards her, she watched as Ronald raised something above his head which twinkled in the available light, but there was no time for her to feel fear before he plunged it into her chest. She felt the sharp pangs of death as her final breath escaped her mouth. At last, it was her time to die.
ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦..
Ronald watched the records as they spilled out of the old woman to twist and turn about the room. āThere are a lot of records,ā he said as he sighed loudly.
From the far side of the room, William stepped forward and adjusted his glasses. āThe longer a human lives, the more records there are to review. It is simply a fact, but we cannot shirk our duties simply because there are more records.ā
āI know,ā Ronald said.
William continued to watch, but his two toned eyes were focused on Ronald instead of the records. This was the young reaperās first official assignment after graduating, and he was doing an acceptable job so far. He had gone about the collection with the proper level of attachment, although William couldnāt help but wonder one thing.
Had Ronald guessed that the old woman had known him in life?
Ronald might have as the woman had addressed him by name, but so far he hadnāt asked about it, and that was good. Once they were reborn as reapers, they had cast aside all of who they had been as humans besides their names and their faces. Everything else of who they had been was gone and forever beyond their grasp. Sometimes the dying would seem to recognize them, but the recognition could never be returned. Even now, as Ronald reviewed the records, he had no idea that the blonde boy in the womanās memories was him, and that was good.
Finally, the records came to an end, and Ronald produced his notebook. āNothing of note,ā he said, as he stamped completed, āCan we return to the office now? I want to file my paperwork so I donāt have to do overtime.ā
āYou canāt always avoid overtime,ā William said, ābut it is best to return right away. Nothing can be gained by lingering.ā
Ronald barely seemed to be listening as he looked as his scythe, which was the model he had been given upon graduation. āI really need to customize this thing,ā he said, āThis style is just too outdated and old for me.ā He continued to talk to himself as he walked away.
āHonestly,ā William said to himself, but he paused to glance back at the old womanās body. Even if Ronald couldnāt remember, it had seemed to give the woman a bit of peace at the end. Perhaps their punishment could do a bit of good for someone else. Perhaps they could provide just a bit of comfort.
Hello Anon and thanks for the question. I actually think Grell probably can swim. When we see her after Campania floats, she is lying face down in the water.
I think this was to show she had been beaten up by Undertaker rather than to indicate she canāt swim. It is a bit ironic that she looks like sheās doing the dead manās float though.
I hope that answers your question, Anon. Have a lovely day!
Itās my headcanon that Grell committed suicide by drowning, and this ādead manās floatā scene is a nod to it, even though in context of the scene it is indeed to show Undertaker had sent Grell over the railing and into the water.
I think casting Grell as Ophelia in the āHamletā episode of s1 was also a nod to how Grell actually died.
What finally led me to the headcanon is the pic of a long-haired reaper drowning in one of Saschaās scenes, when he explains all reapers committed suicide. I think the long-haired one with bubbles rising to the surface (in a framed image) is Grell (and not Undertaker).
Notice that in an extra chapter (That Butler: Requested), Grell is cast as another character who ends up throwing themselves into the water (sea in this case) to die.
In the *original version* of Hans Christian Andersenās āThe Little Mermaidā, The unnamed mermaid loses the man she loves to another woman. Given the option to kill the man and live on as a human (gaining an immortal soul) vs allow herself to die/become sea foam (and supposedly never have an immortal soul), she ends up choosing her own death. She throws herself off a ship and falls to the water, immediately becoming sea foam. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Little_Mermaid
There is controversy regarding the ending that has the mermaid (in sea foam form) join the āDaughters of the Airā, who can gain immortal souls by doing 300 yrs of good deeds. Some say it was added later to give the story a happy ending, and that it might have originally ended with her death.
Since Yana-san has Arthur specifically mention Andersen, she probably is referring to his āoriginalā version and not our modern Disney rework of the story. Grell might have chosen death (by drowning) instead of living with the sadness of being rejected. And then being recruited by the reapers is like a parallel to the mermaid joining the āDaughters of the Airā; collecting souls for some length of time will eventually lead to salvation/forgiveness. Of course, itās never that straightforward. Even in the ending with those āDaughters of the Airā, these spirits can shorten the time it takes by certain methods, but if they are unlucky in this, more time will be added to their āserviceā. Grellās time as a reaper might have been increased by helping Madam Red with her Jack the Ripper murder spreeā¦.
Anywayā¦ more reason why I think Grell committed suicide by drowning.
Damn, you really explained that theoryās plausibility well, there!
For me, I started considering the theory as possibly canon after seeing this image:
Sure, itās just artwork, and everyoneās underwater, but Grell looks so peaceful thereā¦ as if Toboso couldnāt picture the Grell we presently know in water, and pictured Grellās suicide insteadā¦
I mean look closely:
Grellās position kind of looks like it was intentional (my guess; I donāt have any knowledge about what a suicide would look like)
Also, Grell looks so sad hereā¦
Only Lizzy has that expression apart from Grell, but Lizzyās human, and the arcās plot explains why she would be (having to protect Ciel and all)
Also Grellās mouth is the most open compared to all other characters, as if Grell was accepting the water to fill their lungs (other characters are nearly closed, or completely closed)
I donāt know, I might be over-interpreting the image.
Before I even got to the part where you mention Grelleās open mouth, I was looking at the close-up and having the exact same thought. Grelle isnāt keeping the water out. Even the other reapers (Undertaker and Ronald) are shown here with closed mouths, so it isnāt just because Grelle is a reaper who cannot (now) drown. This could be another hint.
Good observation!
I have had so many mind fanfics involving Grellās human life and drowning, and it seems more suitable than any other way of suicide (Iāve tried the knife in heart one several times, but it doesnāt seem suitable.)
My latest headcanon fanfic is Grell stabbing himself, dropping the weapon on the ground, and letting himself fall into the Thames river, making the whole thing look like a murder, as to not dishonor his family (Iāve got no evidence apart from the whole drowning theory, so donāt take this as canon info)
Just bringing this up again because I wonder if we could tie the image from the German Shinigami explanation about suicide in.
This one:
The upmost image pictures a long-haired person drowningā¦
But if we consider the OVA about Will showing Grell and Will when they were fresh from the academy, Grell probably lived in the 18th century.
I donāt know how long a reaper has to learn at the academy, but I do know that the fashion in that century was like this:
And although it was mostly wigs, this slideshow video says sometimes real hair was powdered white instead.Ā
Also men typically wore long colorful coats then, and Grellās love for long and colorful clothing would be explained from that sourceā¦
That is if Grell were part of the high classes, which, judging from his fashion tastes, he might be:
Even his uniform has a longer coat.
Iām pretty sure long hair was a sign of wealth then, so if Grell was part of that class and had long hair before committing suicide, then he definitely drowned himself, as shown in the upmost panel of the mangaās page.
Also, I noticed Grell already seemed to be into men in the OVA (before he fell in love with Will), so perhaps his reason for committing suicide is either the fact he doesnāt want a forced marriage with a girl, and/or the fact that he probably wants to avoid dishonoring his family with his homosexuality (because gossip was common at that time in the upper classes, so secrets were very hard to keep). Bridges werenāt too sturdy at places and there were barely any barriers between the street and the river, so accidents were common, and thus a suicide could probably easily be disguised as a drunk accident (or a homicide?) or some other unfortunate event (like being pushed by a passing carriage or not seeing in the dark). Thus, drowning would have been the most effective way of committing suicide and making it appear as an accident instead, thus saving the family from gossip and dishonor.
Just some extra possible evidence to the theory. Tell me what you think about it, @abybweisse
Well, I do think the picture (in the manga) of the long-haired suicide-by-drowning is Grelle, despite the images from the ova and design art for it, showing Grelle with short hair.
Thanks for finding the 18th century menās hair and wig fashion designs!
I always figured Grelleās decision to commit suicide was either due to sexuality or gender identity issues and/or unrequited love for some man. Making it look like an accident or murder makes sense, if the point is to not dishonor the family. Many in the fandom still support the idea that it was slashed wrists, claiming itās a method commonly used by women. However, drowning is one of the most common suicide methods for women, at least as common as cutting wrists/slashing arteries. Could be anything from drowning in the bathtub, falling into a river, walking right into the sea, or even jumping off a seaside cliff. Depending on how you do it, you can make any of those look like accidental drownings; you canāt make slashed arteries look like an accident.
Continuing with the appearance of an accident thing and family honor: In āHamletā (and Iāve mentioned this before in regards to Grelle and suicide) Opheliaās death was mostly treated as an accident. The āstoryā went that she had climbed a tree and sat on a limb, but then the limb broke, sending her into the river or stream below. However, at the funeral, one of the sentries in attendance calls it a āsuicideā, and Opheliaās mother gets angry he said that. It could be that she knew her daughter had killed herself, but she was going to say it was an accident just to āsave faceā for the family nameā¦.
And Ophelia came from a noble family. Perhaps Grelle did, too, though Iām not certain. I said in a post just recently that I see Grelle as having been at least middle class. Of course, you donāt have to be middle class or higher to worry about things like honor or social standing. Even a lower class family might try to hide the truth of a suicide; they might be trying to improve their familyās status.
Ophelia had been spurned by Prince Hamlet, and many thought sheād gone quite insane. The little mermaid (originally) was also rejected by her prince and chose death.
Anyway, I think these are highly plausible:
Motive(s): unrequited love and/or societal pressures related to sexuality/gender identity
Method: Suicide by drowning. Intended to look like an accident or homicide (to maintain family honor), particularly if Grelle was from the gentry or nobility.
Also, if the idea that Grell was from a noble family is true, then the possibility of suicide by slit wrists would greatly be reduced, if Grell didnāt want to dishonor his family.
Omg this one might be a little sad and bittersweet. I love this AU soooo much!
1. Becoming a reaper was, in Lizzys eyes, the only way to obtain more power and save Ciel.
2. Ciel was one to discover Elizabethās body. She had come over to his mansion the day before and spent the entire day with him. Heād wondered why she went to bed that day crying. He understood when he discovered her corpse the next morning when heād went to surprise Elizabeth by waking her up.
3. Elizabeth had died in her favorite white dress. Ciel thought it very much resembled a wedding dress.
4. The other members of the phantomhive household were alerted of the suicide when they heard ciels screams and sobs coming from the guest bedroom. They ran over only to see Ciel cradling lizzys dead body and begging her to come back to him.
5. Grell and Ronald were the first reapers Lizzy met. They both immediately took a liking to her. Grell loved that elizabeth had died out of love for another person, it truly was passionate demise in her eyes. Ronald admired Elizabethās strength and determination.
7. Lizzy had decided to kill herself when she became 18. She had become desperate since she had no idea of how to save Ciel. She knew that ciels death was imminent, so she commenced this plan as a last ditch effort to help ciel.
8. with his last true family member gone, Ciel nearly went mad. He was lucky that he met Lizzy as a reaper on his next mission for the queen.
9. Ciels first mission for the queen happened to be lizzys first soul collecting assignment (with Ronald and grell as her mentors). Upon their first meeting, Lizzy didnāt go to greet Ciel, instead she immediately, ruthlessly began attacking Sebastian. As a reaper, Lizzy was a much more formidable opponent. Grell and Ronald had to practically drag her away from the fight. But it was Ciel who ended the battle by screaming at Sebastian to cease his attacks. Elizabeth left without a word of explanation.
10. Meeting Lizzy again gave Ciel the courage to continue living. Lizzy may have been dead, but her light had not yet been extinguished from his life.
Oof I should stop there I guess. I have so much more to write! Iām considering making a fanfiction out of this now lol. Thanks for the request!
I honestly think Shinigami try to appear as ānormalā as possible and live their new lives to the fullest. Nothing in their behavior hints that they were suicide victims. A little fucked up in the mind, maybe.
True. tbh I really want Toboso to bring us more information about this. Because overall I feel this was indeed not an idea that was there since the beggining. But well, we just need more information.
Everything about them seems to stem from their suicides. Even the selection of their death scythes can at leastĀ sometimesĀ tie back to WHY they killed themselves. I havenāt analysed them all, so maybe they all tie back to how or why. They were meant to be suicides from the very beginning. I have zero doubt about this.
Iāve already posted in-depth analyses of the following reapers and their death scythes (can easily be found on my reaper blog, abybweissekuroshinigami):
Undertakerand his old fashioned scythe ā I think I might have only discussed this in reblogs?? Mostly, this places him as dying long, long agoā¦ probably around 1200. If heās really Cedric K. Rosā, then heās partially based on Cedric Rotherwood from Ivanoe, set in 1194. The exact opposite of Ronald Knox, he would be traditional and opposed to change. He wouldnāt be fond of monetary systems or the ruling monarchyā¦. Just like the story of Ivanhoe, there is something romantic (and timeless) about Undertaker. Other clues suggest Undertaker was betrayed and abandoned. (Bonus: I think he might have set himself on fire.)
Grell Sutcliff and the chainsaw ā chainsaws used in the lumber industry started out as small chains used to help women with childbirth complications. Couldnāt bear children, led to depression, committed suicide. (Bonus: I think Grell drowned, just like Ophelia in Hamlet.)
William T. Spears and the telescopic pruner ā it allows him to keep his distance from others. Not just demons he might fight but also the people from whom heās collecting souls. I donāt think he could get close to anyone (emotionally) in life, either. (Bonus: I think Will jumped from the top of a building.)
Ronald Knox and the cylinder lawnmower ā though Iāve analysed the death scythe, I havenāt quite determined the reason, except that heās a modern and sporty guyā¦ and the lawnmower replaced the scythe to cut lawns, changing and modernizing the rules of numerous sports. Perhaps he thought he was just way ahead of his time, and no one understood him? (Bonus: I think he slit his wrists.)
Sascha andā¦ is the camera really his death scythe? ā Since we havenāt seen him actively reaping (unless using the cameraĀ āsteals the soulā like some people used to believe) I analysed the camera. Until we get confirmation on his death scythe, I canāt say what it has to do with his suicide. However, his suicide method is hanging by noose; thatās canon, as he is shown in silhouette putting a noose around his neck in one panelā¦ while heās narrating that reapers are all suicides. Itās clearly him with the noose.
Othello and a modernized sickle ā I have discussed this in reblogs only, so far. It seems to tie back to Shakespeareās Othello, who kills himself after killing his wife and finding out the accusations against her were based on false evidence. Heās more of a modern thinker than Undertaker, so even though he uses a sickle, itās modern in appearance. Itās also a bit reminiscent of a Moorās (or Arabās) scimitar, which was a commonly used curved sword. His namesake was fooled with fake evidence, so perhaps thatās why our Othello is now in the reaper forensics department. (Bonus: since Othello in the play stabs himself with a dagger, I imagine our Othello doing the same.)
I think those are the only ones Iāve got to, so far, but the rest are works-in-progress.
WARNING: This article contains mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts.
Back in the early months of 2015, I was suffering with depression. At that time, I was revising like mad for my summer exams and having frequent panic attacks. I was severely unhappy. But I thought it was normal or just a side affect of having panic attacks nearly everyday. I didnāt think that my mood was anything to worry about at the time. I kind of ignored it because I was revising, but I was progressively getting worse. As the months went on and my exams got closer, my panic attacks nearly doubled. Iād experienced them multiple times a day, which meant that I was feeling even worse. It lead to me not sleeping properly. Often, I would sit in silence and stare at nothing for hours at a time, not even realising how much time has passed.
However, I was still ignoring it completely. I just convinced myself it was the revision and stress getting to me. I thought Iād feel right as rain again as soon as I finished my exams. Obviously, this didnāt happen. Without revision filling my days, I just felt empty. All of my friends were going out and filling their new found freedom with fun activities. I, on the other hand, was staying in ā¦
Since its construction in 1912 there have been over 100Ā suicidesĀ at the Colorado StreetĀ Bridge in Pasadena, California, earning it the nickname of Suicide Bridge. Over 50 of those deaths were during the Great Depression from 1930 to 1937. Today it has aĀ suicideĀ barrier which has reduced the number ofĀ suicides at the bridge but it still holds on to its nickname. According local urban legend, a worker fell off the bridge during its construction and into wet concrete. It was quick drying and he was left to die. Many believe that his ghost still haunts the bridge and that he is the reason why it has claimed so many lives, that his ghost urges people in crisis to take their own lives.Ā
Several spirits are said to haunt the Colorado Street Bridge, including a man with wire rimmed glasses and a woman in a long robe who disappears. The woman is often seen standing on top of one of the parapets, vanishing as she throws herself off. Ghosts have been seen walking the river bed under the bridge. Strange sounds and cries have been heard at night and semi transparentĀ apparitionsĀ have been seen in the area. One voice that is often heard at nightĀ is a female voice that whispers that something is āher faultā to anyone passing by.Ā
Another ghost dates back to aĀ suicideĀ in 1937. Myrtle Ward, a 22 year old mother,Ā carried her baby to the bridge after being left by the babyās father. She threw the baby off the bridge and then immediately jumped over herself so they could be together in the afterlife. In a twist of fate the baby landed in the branches of a nearby tree and was unharmed. Myrtle died, and her ghost has been seen wandering the bridge still searching for her baby.
I’ve passed this bridge when my sister used to work near there and the bridge really is beautiful. I’m almost tempted to go stand on it, but I know my mom would never let me cause ‘The devil might push me off or tempt me to jump’.
I’d prob be too weary to go anyway. Maybe. If u ask me, bridge seems almost cursed.
In South Dakota, a sinister urban legend named āWalking Samā is thought to have driven over ten teenagers to take their own lives, but how can a mythological figure drive people to such desperate measures?
The scene of the shocking spate of suicides is the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, home to the Oglala Lakota sub-tribe of Sioux Native Americans, but also something a lot more ominous.
The Native American tribe believes in a mysterious, shadowy figure that walks the plains whispering suicidal urges into peopleās ears. Although the Oglala Lakota tribe refers to him as the āTall Man Spirit,ā this haunting presence has became colloquially known as āWalking Sam.ā Tribe president John Yellow Bird Steele explained that many Sioux believed in: āA suicide spirit similar to the Slender Man.ā
Reservation minister, Chris Carey, even went as far as to tell The Times thatā āA Tall Man spirit is appearing to these kids and telling them to kill themselves.ā
Although blaming the suicides on this spectral figure of traditional folklore might seem far-fetched, there is no denying the amount of young people taking their lives on the reservation is much higher than the national average.
Since December, a distressing 103 suicide attempts have occurred on the reservation, and out of them, nine young people between the ages of 12 and 24 have died.Ā While the these deaths are obviously saddening and shocking, a foiled mass suicide is perhaps the most chilling tale to creep out of Pine Ridge. In February, Pastor John Two Bulls was alerted that a group of teens had planned to kill themselves in a mass suicide. After rushing to the spot, he was confronted with a cluster of nooses hanging from the trees and a group of young people who had converged at the spot. Luckily counseling was offered and the teenagers were dispelled before they could harm themselves, but this tale could have ended in enormous tragedy.
Santana Janis who commited suicide at age 12.
Just Who is āWalking Sam?ā
Walking Sam is just as showy a figure in folklore as he is in real life. The origins of the legend cannot be pin pointed due to the Native American oral tradition of passing down stories, but it is believed that his name has been spoken for centuries.
Known by multiple names, including āStovepipe Hat Bigfootā and āBig Man,ā Walking Sam is strangely similar to the much better known Slender Man in appearance.
He is said to be seven foot tall with an impossibly lean figure and long, spindly limbs with no mouth. When he extends his arms, the dead bodies of Lakota men and women hang from them.
Walking Sam is similar in appearance to Slender Man
In folklore, Walking Samās presence is not intrinsically hostile. Itās said he was sent to this earth as punishment and is constantly seeking company to whom he cannot speak.
In Peter Mathiessenās 1983 book about Pine Ridge, In the Spirit of Crazy Horse,he is described as follows:
āThere is your Big man standing there, ever waiting, ever present, like the coming of a new dayā¦ He is both spirit and real being, but he can also glide through the forest, like a moose with big antlers, as though the trees werenāt thereā¦ I know him as my brotherā¦ I want him to touch me, just a touch, a blessing, something I could bring home to my sons and grandchildren, that I was there, that I approached him, and he touched me.ā
How Widespread Are the Beliefs?
According to The Daily Dot, many local people believe in Walking Sam and he has made his presence known at tribal council meetings with government officials. Blogger, Mike Crowley, explained how at one meeting:
āA woman, who was elderly but otherwise quite lucid, described Walking Sam as a big man in a tall hat who has appeared around the reservation and caused young people to commit suicides. ā
He also reported meeting a local bookstore owner who told him
āThere really are bad spirits out there on the reservation, and you need to be careful. She said that if you go looking for them, you might just find them.ā Ā
The arid ābad landsā in Pine Ridge
Another Explanation
Although Walking Sam a captivating tale, the real reason for the dramatic spate of tragic suicides is probably more to do with the extreme poverty that the Oglala Lakota tribe live in.
The Pine Ridge Reservation has some of the worst rates of alcoholism and drug abuse, violence and unemployment in America, and life expectancy for men is below 50 years, the lowest in the Western Hemisphere.
Racism has also been cited as a reason that so many Oglala Lakota teens are driven to kill themselves. Santana Janis, who killed herself aged just 12 years old, was called a āfilthy Indianā in a hotel lobby just days before she died, and Pine Ridge students were doused with beer and forced to leave a hockey game outside the reservation for their own safety just two months ago. In the words of Santanaās grandfather:
āOur kids today just want to die because theyāre sick of all this oppression.ā
Walking Sam might have become the spiritual totem for these suicides, and a figure that the teens themselves empathize with, but this shouldnāt distract the eyes of the world from the very real challenges the Oglala Lakota people face in their day to day life.
Walking Sam might be a compelling myth, but the teen suicides are real and tearing the soul of the reservation apart.
[Iāll be discussing these ideas under the assumption that Shinigamis working for their āforgivenessā means that theyāre working to gain access into heaven, though this hasnāt been explicitly stated. Some of this is just theories on top of theories, I fully admit it, so Iām not stating any of this as a solid idea.]
I was talking about Undertaker being a deserter with @midnight-in-town and she pointed out how in chapter 105, Sascha said there are others who have seceded too:
But the fact that Sascha says āevery once in awhileā makes it seem not so common – especially considering the whole world would have Shinigamis, it could be centuries in between a single country having a āseceder.ā Still, this got me thinking whether or not thatās a giant flaw within in whole Grim Reaper system considering theyāre dealing with peopleās souls. It seems risky right? And where are the limits on these faults?
This is all just speculation, and some of this is really a shot in the dark, so if anybody else has an idea, feel free to sayā¦
The General Purpose of the Shinigami Dispatch
Letās first look at why the system is set up as it is in the first place for the Shinigamisā sake – not for the souls.
Individual Meaning
The fact that there are deserters shows that there is free will. The Shinigamis have kept this component of human nature even after death. The Dispatch is not some sort of collective mindset, though as a whole they seem to generally agree on what matters (the souls).
From what theyāve said and how Iāve taken it, being a Shinigami is basically a second chance for a person to not go to hell under the belief that suicide a mortal sin. The only difference between them and regular people, besides their new supernatural abilities, is that their āsecond lifeā is set up to basically force them to have to appreciate life. In our life, one learns that through friendships, helping others, supporting othersā¦for a Shinigami, theyāre left to learn this through witnessing other people. Itās hard for them – itās a punishment, after all. Itās not our traditional sense of improving as a person. But presumably itās effective.Ā
In my opinion, itās basically an alternative to hell or traditional purgatory – itās like a very specific purgatory for these people who took their own lives.
However, because it requires individual thought, they canāt rely on others to pull them through. Back to my initial statement, they still have to have free will so that they can individually make decisions and come to their personal enlightenment by their own terms. The horrible thing is that with free will, there are bound to be deserters. Iāll get to that in a bit though.
Collectively
Despite the individuality, I think they can help each other some, though. Just the next in the chapter, Sascha calls being a Shinigami a vocation:
Ā This is seen as odd for a lot of reasons. A vocation is, by definition:
In other words, itās your calling. Itās your purpose. And thatās a pretty grim purpose. The only reason I can think as a vocation – which would give it more reason than individual contemplation – is that they can at least be there to help motivate the others towards forgiveness.
So, if one does fail, that canāt settle well for any of them who knew that Shinigami. It might even make it more of a personal offense.Ā
TheĀ āSecedersā – So are they a Risk?
If people were perfect, the Dispatch as a pathway for redemption would work and theyād learn their lesson with no problem and presumably get to heaven (if thatās the purpose of the Shinigami Dispatch in the first place). Well, if people were perfect, they wouldnāt need this as a path in the first place. But the point is there: with having human qualities such as free will, there is room for mistake. Mild mistakes arenāt a big deal, but what about the big ones? Can these ādesertersā be forgiven?
Grell was forgiven. There was a punishment of course, but it wasnāt too long afterwards (especially for an immortal being) that they were back to their regular Shinigami post. Grellās not a complete deserter, though.
This leaves the question if Shinigamis have it easier than humans though on their path to salvation, because if theyāre supposedly immortal and can have second chances until they reach āenlightenmentā (we assume), then that means they canāt ever be sent to hell. This seems to give them an advantage over people in their āfirst life.ā Is this fair? I donāt know.
ā¦or certain offenses are considered unforgivable and Undertaker crossed that line. But what could be worse than murder, like Grell? Is it worse to just desert than to murder but not consider yourself different?
Grell may have murdered the physical body, but murder does not equate to ruining the soul.
So is it that Undertaker messes with souls? Some say he wants to revive those on the lockets, others argue that the bizarre doll soul-tampering in general is bad enoughā¦but Undertaker had already quit before he started doing this. At least, he must have because he says he hasnāt been an active Shinigami in 50+ years and we donāt know enough to say if he started tampering with souls earlier. Nothing says iirc.
That means the other option is that he thought his past actions couldnāt be forgiven, even if he could have, so he figured nothing mattered and went a step further to steal the souls and then it became unforgivable for real. Or maybe he didnāt care or want forgiveness, but now he doesnāt want to die and go to hell either so he hides out and works on his more taboo stuff because heās got nothing to lose so long as heās not caught.
In short: When UT deserted originally, maybe it wasnāt a āriskā but just regular personal rebellion from free will. Now heās messing with souls and like the impending WW1 plot, everything suddenly becomes a bigger deal for Shinigamis.
Sascha mentioned deserters, but never said that a deserter was somebody who messed with souls. Every Shinigami weāve seen except Undertaker have seen the souls as something not to mess with.Ā
So is this Dispatch Association actually a risky, flawed system?
In my opinion, as a whole, flaws are not necessarily a risk. āSecederā can mean a lot of things, and it could just mean Shinigamis trying to escape in general. Undertaker may be special (in a negative way), and thatās what makes the plot more interesting. Regular Shinigamis arenāt a threat, and deserters arenāt a threat necessarily if they live as people without trouble. Maybe Undertaker stands out as the first real threat to people. It could have been tried before, but the new technology of the 1800ā²s is actually making it worrisome because it could be possible.
I really like a lot of whatās mentioned here since thereās so much speculation going around about the Shinigami and their punishment.Ā Iād like to add Eric as an example from the musical though, since he was also tampering with soulsāor rather capturing them in attempts to use themĀ for Alanās recovery from the Thorns of Death.Ā Ā Furthermore, even though Shinigami are technicallyĀ immortals, they can still be killedĀ as proven by Ericās and Alanās deaths, at which their second chance ended.Ā For all their strengths theĀ ShinigamiĀ have their own perils to face, such a fighting against demons over souls.
Ā Even more than that, theyāre not immune to their own Death Scythes, so it’sĀ actually possible for them to attemptĀ commit suicide a second time if they tried.Ā (This, I personally believe, is the main reason Death Scythes have to be registered andĀ are kept under such rigid control by Dispatch.Ā In the OVA, āThe Tale of Will the Shinigami,ā we even see that Death Scythes basically have to be checked out of General Affairs before they can be used by the agents in Collections.)Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
Weāve seen Shinigami die, but weāve never seen one we knew had been āforgiven.“Ā That leads to the question of what happens when theyĀ are forgiven?Ā Do they simply disappear and move on?Ā And what about someone likeĀ Alan, who contracted the Thorns of Death and perhaps possibly never learned before the diseaseĀ took his life?Ā What happens for those who are made to faceĀ their death a second time?Ā What if itās onlyĀ after their second death that they are judged for Heaven or Hell?Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
In a video I watched a few months ago about suicide victims that had jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, it said that out of theĀ 1% of survivors, every one of them said they regretted their decision instantly.Ā The victim they were interviewing, Kevin Hines,Ā (who is now an author btw) said that, "The millisecond my hands left the rail,Ā it was an instant regretā and thatĀ he remembered thinking, āNo oneās gonna know that I didnāt want to die."Ā Ā Taking that information and putting it intoĀ perspective for the Shinigami, I see many of them holding that same regret and seceders stemming more so from a loss of hope in the endlessness of their situationĀ or a case of desperation.Ā
I like both your thoughts a lot and I just wanted to contribute on a few things š
About the Undertaker
Here comes the rambling part but UT is an extremely interesting character to analyze. To sum up: I think that when he went back to the human world after deserting becauseĀ āhe got curiousā it wasnāt a crime in itself since, as wondrouswatchdog pointed out with Grell, Iām pretty sure he would have been forgiven at that time (because deserters are a thing).
No one expects the Shinigami job to be easy, except maybe for Sascha because itās theirĀ āvocationā, since itās to be taken as a long punishment in the first place, until the Shinigamis learn their lessons about giving up on their own life.Ā
So back to UT, I agree that he probably became a threat from the moment he started messing with souls and death but, and thatās where it becomes interesting for me, you were wondering whether he cared or not and I actually donāt think he gives a single care about his actions.
Whoever those seven guys were and no matter how they got along with him, theyāre the reason he probablyĀ āforgotā he wasnāt really a living human until death came by for them and he found himself all alone once again. UT is a character made of contradictions but the main thing is that, while every reader surely thought he was just funny in the head with probable sociopathic tendencies for a long time, ch105 was the first proof that heās in reality becoming totally desperate, hence the impossible BD project and many other crazy things (like sacrificing a big amount of people on the Campania for his experiments).
(You can see it pretty well actually: UT in the Campania arc with Ryan is just beyond ruthless with his words even though heās also responsible for all the dead people, while he became very emotional after just seeing a picture of Vincent in his younger days. It wouldnāt be an understatement to say that he might be losing it for real)
I think seceders/deserters in general are just guys who canāt put up with the job anymore and itās understandable because redemption after a sin like suicide would certainly never be so easy to reach (so they probably have to work for a looong time), but while UT probably started as aĀ ānormal secederā (he had enough of his job + curiosity), things escalated when those seven guys died.
We have no idea about his previous life and how long he worked as a Shinigami, but we can guess he might have forgotten there was a time limit to his enjoyment with a few humans he found particularly interesting and thatās probably what started it all: if he found a new interest in ālivingā at the side of those seven guys, the fact death took them away from him is something he probably couldnāt accept.Ā ā¦And itās even worse in case he actually had a family with one of them as some theories propose.Ā
So I really think UT stands out asĀ āthe first real threatā from the Shinigami world (if anything because BDs were probably never a thing before, according to Will + Grell + Ronald) and if heās caughtā¦ I donāt think redemption or forgiveness will be considered at all.
About the Death Scythes
Really good point on death scythes being able to inflict major damages even to Shinigamis and this is just a headcanon of mine, but I wouldnāt be surprised if some of UTās scars were actually done by a death scythe. ā¦ To be entirely honest, at one point I even considered the idea that maybe he indeed tried to attempt suicide a second time at the beginning of his time as a Shinigami by stabbing himself through the heart or by trying to cut his own head.
Time will tell what these scars really are about but I justā¦ wouldnāt be surprised.
As for Redemptionā¦
The whole point of the Shinigami job is toā¦
give a chance to people who committed suicide not to go to Hell directly by having them watch countless records of people with probably happier lives than them (not always, but still)
have a way to collect human souls
So I think that if/when a Shinigami was punished enough (= worked nicely for a really really long time), then redemption can be reached because they learnt their lesson and in that case, they donāt necessarily have to go to Hell but instead their tortured soul can rest in peace.
Technically Iām thinking that in Kuro, even though suicide is a major sin, theĀ ārulesā take into account that people who committed such an act were probably extremely sad and desperate, and even though they have to be punished and to learn what exactly they gave up on, mercy and forgiveness can still be upon them if they repent enough.
As you said silyabeeodess though, suicide can also be a decision takenĀ āout of the blueā in a real moment of desperation so maybe the Shinigami job is also a way toĀ āgive them a chanceā at gaining peace in the afterlife, because humans make mistakes and suicide can definitely be one of them (as through my own experience of talking with people who committed suicide and who were saved, I always heard that they regretted trying, not necessarily just for them but also for the people they would have left behind).
Hello Anon and thanks for the question. This will be a bit of a long answer, and please know this is all headcanon. I might be dead wrong about some of this, and this is all just my opinion. Also, I will also be obviously discussing suicide in this answer, so please be forewarned.
Now, most of my thoughts come from the one page in chapter 105 where we learn that all the Shinigami used to be human.
First, we have Grell. I would venture to guess that Grell would have been the one shown cutting her wrist i the images since it looks like the hand has painted nails. This would also explain Grellās fascination with the color red.
Iāve thought a lot about the reasons why and have actually changed my mind quite a few times. There are a lot of possibilities with Grell. Sheās emotional and dramatic – so she might have thought of it as her grand exit from the stage. She could have been a misunderstood and abused outcast who had been terribly shy and meek in her human life, and she just couldnāt stand the pain. The more I examine the character, however, I think the big hint lies in the fact she often equates love and death. I think thereās a good chance Grell died as part of a suicide pact with a lover or even a murder/suicide. She wanted to be with someone forever and took her own life in a vain attempt to do so.
Next is William. Iām not completely sure with method William would have chosen. He would have wanted something that was effective, but heās not the kind to draw attention to himself. I think a gun would be too loud and messy for him, so he would be more likely to have overdosed so he could have simply gone to bed and not woken up. However, I might be backwards on that reasoning and logic.
William strikes me as someone who was never good at expressing his emotions. He did what he had to get done and was reliable, but he was the kind of person that was often overlooked and alone. He would tell himself that he was happy, but he might have been lonely. This is purely my headcanon, but I think he might have been a businessman. Each day was a routine, and he was efficient with his routine, but he was also stuck in a bit of a rut. Thereās a chance that he simply wanted to escape the endless repetition his life, which would be ironic since he was punished with the same sort of existence.
On to Ronald, who is very much a ālive in the momentā kind of guy. I think he was always the party type, although he was also a good worker. When it was time to work, he worked hard. Afterwards, he partied hard, but he wasnāt the kind to think of the future. He didnāt like to plan ahead or think of the past. While he was seen as responsible enough during the day, his nights was filled with alcohol, drugs, and women. At some point, balancing both sides of his life became too much. Something happened to push him over the edge. Maybe his reckless lifestyle finally hurt someone other than himself, and he just couldnāt face it. After all, heās a decent guy overall.
I think itās most likely that Ronald jumped off a building. First off, those shoes in the picture do look like his.
Jumping is sometimes considered an impulsive action since it doesnāt take any planning, which would fit into Ronald not thinking ahead. Itās also interesting to note that Ronald now has to jump down with his lawnmower for it to be effective, which could mirror his death.
Undertaker is a bit of an odd one for me. I have an idea that he might be the original Shinigami and might have never been human. Iāve read a theory that he was the one who collected the souls of the others, which is why he is shown as a solid figure on the cover of 106 while the others are mere skeletons.
I rather like that theory. If he was human, however, then I think it might have had something to do with someone he loved or thought he loved since his actions now seem related to attachments. He might have been a bit like Grell in that regard. Since the drowning figure shown appears to have long hair, that could have been him.
Thereās really very little to go on with Alan and Eric since we only have them in the musical and the single image of the manga. If all the Shinigami are repeating their lives as humans to some degree, maybe thereās a hint there. Alan might have been ill as a human, and took his own life in order to avoid suffering. Heās another one who might have taken an overdose as that would fit his more somber personality. Eric is brash and impulsive. Just like in the musical, his actions might have led to the death or injury of someone he cared for, and he didnāt feel he could live with the guilt or without that person. Since his death was more passive since he simply allowed Sebastian to kill him, perhaps Eric allowed something to run over him – like a train or horse. He purposely put himself in somethingās way so that he could end his life.
Saschaās death seems to the easiest to guess since the hairstyle looks the same as the image with the rope.
Since Sascha claims to be happier now as a Shinigami, itās safe to assume that Saschaās life hadnāt been an easy one. Thereās really no hints as to why beyond that. Sascha is a bit of an observer with the use of a camera, so there could be the feelings of not being able to participate in life. Also, there is a hint of a slightly morbid fascination that had preceded death. Sascha might have heard that those who commit suicide become Shinigami or was just curious what happened after you died.
Thereās almost nothing to go on with Rudgar. He smokes, so perhaps something to do with fire? His personality seems close to Williamās in some ways, so there might be a similarity to their stories.
Finally, thereās the newest Shinigami, Othello. The clue might be right there in his name since the character of Othello kills himself after finding out that his wife, whom he had just killed for betraying him, had been faithful. Like the Shakespearean character, perhaps our Othello had been lied to and done something horrible while believing the lie. After discovering he was tricked, he stabbed himself rather than allowing himself to be arrested.
Thatās just my thoughts of the matter. Iāve read other theories as well, but i hope that answered your question, Anon. Have a lovely day!
Grell SutcliffĀ – Ok, so itās not proof of anything. Just my musings on Grellās suicideā¦. I think Grell DROWNED, like @kittenkrush has suggested. The hair is long enough in the drowning pic to match Grell now (though maybe not at death). But here is my added content: we also have Grell in the OVA in which they put on a production of Hamlet. In Hamlet, Grell plays Ophelia, who goes mad and later drowns. Wikipedia makes this note about Ophelia: āShe talks in riddles and rhymes, and sings some āmadā and bawdy songs about death and a maiden losing her virginity. After bidding everyone a āgood nightā, she exits.ā
This reminds me of Grellās comments about the Campaniaāsmaiden voyage being like a rough āfirst timeāā¦ The flower Ophelia carries around for herself is rue, and Wikipedia makes this important note: āRue is well known for its symbolic meaning of regret, but the herb is also highly poisonous and has powerful abortive properties.[8]ā Abortive properties! Another parallel to Grellās inability to bear children?? When Queen Gertrude announces Opheliaās death (she apparently climbed a willow tree branch, the branch broke, and Ophelia fell into the brook and drowned) she says that Ophelia was āincapable of her own distressā. Itās a sexton at the graveyard who claims it was suicide. Drowning is appropriate for Grell in another way: itās a form of suicide usually chosen by womenā¦.
William T. Spears – Iāll go out on my own limb (sorry, Grell and William) and suggest that William JUMPED off the building. For two reasons:
1. His death scythe is particularly good for reaching far awayā¦ and way up high/down low.
2. His first appearance in the manga has him appearing on top of a tall building. He looks like he could fall off at any moment. Then he jumps off (and lands on Grellās head).
3. As mentioned above in the OP, William is a businessman type. One stereotypical suicide method for businessmen is by gun. However, they are also known to jump from the roof or out a high window of a tall building, sayā¦ where they worked?
Sascha – HANGING: thatās pretty much got to be him with the noose, right? The imagery of these suicides seems to be through his POV, too, so it would make sense to show how he died, at leastā¦.
Rudgar – SHOOTING himself, because it seems to fit. He seems a lot like William, in some ways, I agree. Very business-like. And, as I said when talking about William, businessmen who commit suicide often do so by gunshot to the head.
Othello – Iāve already said a few times I think his death parallels that of Othello from the Shakespearean play. Except I replace the Moorās wife with our Othello having a male lover. I canāt exactly make any canon claims about his sexuality, but it seems most-likely. False evidence was used to convince him of his lover cheating; he strangles (or otherwise kills) his lover. Discovering the truth, he then STABS himself. Iāll add that I think he ends up in reaper forensics because it was false, planted evidence that led to his tragic endā¦ and our Othello wants to discern the truth. Perhaps this one is Othello? Canāt really tell what the hairstyle is like (or the shoes LOL):
Ronald Knox – those shoes on the top of the buildingĀ are very similar to his. Not exactly the same, but similar. @shinigami-mistress, you make a good point about how Ronaldās death scythe is most effective if itās brought down on someoneā¦.Ā
TheĀ āCiel in Wonderlandā OVA casts Ronald as the Dormouse. There is a real dormouse, which is known for its particularly long periods of hibernation. However, the characterization in the story seems to suggest a portmanteau ofĀ ādormā (sleep) +Ā āmouseā, since this aspect is played up so muchā¦ and Lewis Carroll was a master of portmanteauā¦. A nod(ding off) to sleeping pills? Maybe, but probably not.
And then that other bloggerās post about this subject brought up something very interesting – Ronald attacks Sebastian with a pocket knife very similar to the one shown in the suicideĀ āscenesā. Yana-sanĀ shows Ronaldās watch at least three times during the Campania arcā¦ and thatās on his wristā¦. So, SLASHING his wrists/arteries.
Alan Humphries – We are getting into much rougher territory here. I donāt want to say he took pills because he was already ill, or something. And I agree that theĀ āThorns of Deathā is purely due to his experiences as a reaper. I placed his name with a randomĀ ādeath sceneā that I canāt even figure outā¦. Maybe some of them used the same methods. He could be another one to stab himself, for all I know.
Eric Slingby – I put him with the PILLS because, IDKā¦. Somehow he seems the type to me. Really, I got nothing.
Undertaker – His suicide method has to be really old, right? Poison maybe, but not pills. Not a gun. I donāt even think he could have found a building tall enough back then (I think heās super old, like died around 1200ā¦ Ivanhoe). Crying over Vincentās body having been burned to ashes sticks out at me. Maybe Undertaker committed suicide by setting himself on FIRE? Iāll have to see if their is any other basis for thisā¦.
BTW, there are technically ten frames here. Is there a tenth reaper we havenāt met yet?
I thought I had reblogged this once with updates, but Iām not sure right now. Iād like to add some extra info and a slight correction.
First off, thereās more evidence to support Grelle drowning. Yes, there is a famous painting of Ophelia in the Phantomhive manor, but thatās not it. The side chapter āThat Butler, Requestedā depicts Grelle as the little mermaid ā not the Disney version with the happy ending. Andersenās original version which has the little mermaid choose death rather than killing the prince who rejected her. Sheās on a ship when she decides to throw herself overboard. When she hits the water, she turns to seafoam. These spirits called the āDaughters of the Airā tell her she can join them in order to earn a soul and eventually ascend to Heaven. The process is expected to take around 300 years. Doesnāt this sound a bit like reapers working for personal salvation? Along these same lines, the Campania arc has Grelle getting tossed from the ship and into the sea. We see Grelle doing the Dead Manās Float. William has to fish Grelle out of the water with his telescopic pruner death scythe.
I still say pills for Eric make sense to me, but now Iām thinking some other poison might work for Alan. It seems appropriate that they should choose similar methods.
The tenth reaper is Anderson, the glasses-maker the other reapers call Pops. I have no real evidence to support it, but as heās the only reaper shown sporting facial hair, Iām inclined to think he might have slit his throat with an old-school shaving razor. Slightly random note: Anderson seems to be a nod to Hans Christian Andersen, just like William T. Spears is a nod to William Shakespeare.
A slight correction to my previous comment about Undertaker: there were definitely buildings tall enough to jump to oneās death from around 1200. However, I can think of two more reasons why fire makes sense. They are both bit funny. One, he has no eyebrows. This could be to indicate they had once been singed/burnt right off; either they never grew backā¦ or he now shaves them off. Two, cremation wasnāt popular in the Victorian era, and yet we keep seeing Undertaker with an urn. He uses it like a biscuit tin (cookie jar). What at first seems like a mere eccentricity might also be a reference to his own suicide method.
š„ There is beauty in destructionš„ 